Disclaimer: This article discusses suicide.
Monday December 3, 2018.
That was the day Jason Herrick decided to take his life.
Months of heavy rain, the pressure of excessive regulation, negative sentiment towards farming, and an inability to share his feelings left him at breaking point.
“It had been building up for quite some time,” says Herrick, who’s now Southland Federated Farmers president.
“It started all the way back with the earthquakes in Canterbury, which were just devastating to live through as a family.
“I lost some good mates to suicide in that time, and then my wife had some serious health challenges, and I never really knew how to deal with any of it.
“We moved to a sharemilking position in Southland and that’s when I got so overwhelmed by the barrage of new regulations.”
Herrick says constantly reading and hearing negative comments about farming was weighing heavily on him.
“That public perception against farming – you see it in the news and on social media, farmers getting hammered all the time.
“I just broke because I couldn’t handle people perceiving me in that light.”
Herrick finally snapped on that wet, muddy day in December, driving to cliffs on the southern coast to end his life.
“I honestly didn’t think there was a way out. I didn’t think there was a way forward. I was ready to end it.”
Looking back, he’s incredibly grateful a local police officer found him after being alerted by Jason’s worried wife.
“I don’t remember much from that day, but I know he used GPS tracking on my phone and managed to talk me down off the cliff.”
Herrick was escorted to a mental health facility, which was the start of a long, hard road ahead.
“My parents did a beautiful job of bringing me up, but I was raised as a southern man, taught to harden up, not show emotions, not show any sign of weakness.
“I slowly had to learn how to talk about what was going on in my head.”
Herrick found a counsellor he connected with, learned strategies to cope with pressure, and gradually rediscovered his love of farming.
“I identified some triggers for me really early on and started learning how to manage those.
“For example, watching the news at 6pm every night was so negative and would send me down the wrong path in my head, so I stopped watching TV and haven’t watched it since.”
He now spends a lot of time listening to motivational podcasts and talks to friends and family about how he’s feeling.
A turning point was when he and some friends founded the mental health support group Ag Proud NZ, to help other farmers through tough times.
“Putting myself out there to help other people has given me so many rewards.
“Every time somebody reaches out to me and every time somebody tells me I’ve helped them, it’s a win that makes me feel good.
“It’s hard to describe that feeling, but that’s definitely the reason I talk about my own experience.”
Six years later, Herrick’s mental health is in “A1 condition”, he says.
“Don’t get me wrong: I still have some tough days, but I now have tools to get through them.”
He says he wants to help bring a shift in rural communities and farming families, making it more acceptable for people to share their mental health battles.
“It’ll take a long time to change everything, but we need to bring generational change.
“We need to show our young ones it’s okay to talk, it’s okay to show emotion, and it’s okay to reach out and ask for help.”
As the country marks Mental Health Awareness Week, Herrick has a message to any farmers in a similar place to where he was in 2018.
“Reach out to somebody, and if you don’t have anyone you think you can trust, dial 1737. There are plenty of people on that phone number who will help you.
“Rural Support Trust is also an absolutely phenomenal organisation. They’ve got access to so many resources.
“And, if all else fails, reach out to me. I’ll have no problem talking to people and I’ll point them in the right direction.
“You’re not the only one in this situation, and that’s sometimes the hardest thing to get over is recognising you’re not the only one.”
Hear Herrick’s story on the Federated Farmers Podcast as part of Mental Health Awareness Week 2024.
Federated Farmers, New Zealand’s leading independent rural advocacy organisation, has established a news and insights partnership with AgriHQ, the country’s leading rural publisher, to give the farmers of New Zealand a more informed, united and stronger voice. Federated Farmers news and commentary appears each week in its own section of the Farmers Weekly print edition and online.
Suffering from depression or stress, or know someone who is? Where to get help:
Rural Support Trust: 0800 RURAL HELP
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757
Lifeline: 0800 543 354
Need To Talk? Call or text 1737
Samaritans: 0800 726 666
Youthline: 0800 376 633 or text 234
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