Another self-help book with the word “shit” on the front cover, you say, but could the bullshit inside this one change the life of rural Kiwis with alcohol addiction?
Waiheke Island author Maree MacLean has released her second book, The No Bullshit Guide to Staying Sober, following on from the popular The No Bullshit Guide to Getting Sober, released last year.
It’s evidenced-based, short and straight to the point, she said.
“The message is no-nonsense, it speaks to the NZ psyche and despite the heavy subject matter, is laugh-out-loud funny.”
While the books aren’t aimed specifically at rural communities, statistics say this is the biggest demographic needing help around binge drinking and alcoholism.
In June, Farmer’s Weekly looked into the scourge of alcohol abuse in the country’s more remote areas. A wastewater sampling study confirmed rural communities consume more alcohol per person than people in urban areas do. Some rural spots consume twice the annual average of the likes of South and West Auckland.
Of the 500 in-person meetings run by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), 100 of them are in small towns or rural communities. This accounts only for those doing something about their addiction.
MacLean, a former alcoholic herself, said the buck must stop with the addicts.
“First of all they have to just get really honest about all the bullshit list of excuses they have got for why they keep continuing to drink when it is ruining their life.”
The book is informative and interactive for those who either have acknowledged a problem or are wanting to find out more. It highlights the symptoms, the reasons and the ways to get away from drinking as a problem.
“They must get real with themselves. You don’t have to do this with anyone, work through the book and all will come out in the wash.”
Having been sober for four years, MacLean knows a thing or two about quitting alcohol.
The one tangible thing everyone must do, she said, is get the support needed to kick the habit.
“Get to an AA meeting. AA works and there is no excuse because we can do everything online now. It is people that have the same problem as you, you can meet them and see that they have overcome this addiction.”
Sobriety hasn’t been easy for the former media industry worker.
She first began drinking heavily when she worked as a television producer at TVNZ.
“I didn’t think there was a problem, I was just partying like everyone else does. I was in my mid-20s and there was alcohol everywhere, there were recreational drugs, too. We’d work all week, have a big weekend and finally come down on Tuesday.
“I had this depression, and it didn’t go away. And I was told if I didn’t stop this alcohol abuse, this won’t go away.”
While the penny half dropped, MacLean continued drinking for another 10 years while holding down successful careers in the media, diplomacy and fashion, and getting married as well.
It wasn’t until age 37, when her brother died from oesophageal bleeding related to his drinking problem, that she knew she had to turn her life around.
“That was the worst day of my life.”
“I am standing there at the funeral and going ‘I have got to have a look at this, this could kill me too’.”
Her marriage came to an end, and she has come to terms with admitting the role alcohol had to play in that.
“It definitely did, it is really hard to say that now, but it is true. If I hadn’t drunk like I did, I would have kids and I would have still been married.
“The denial was massive.”
As with many who struggle with addiction, MacLean grew up around alcohol addicts.
“Dad didn’t touch a drop of it because of what he was put through. He chose not to because his father had a massive alcohol problem.”
Statistically, one in five New Zealanders struggle with alcohol abuse. This is doubled in the rural sector.
“Rural communities have a bigger alcohol problem than the main centres and it is real because they are on their own sometimes. They are often removed from social structures.
“Living on the farm is tough and these people can be isolated and vulnerable. They often don’t reach out, so we need to reach out to them.”
MacLean’s own motivation for being sober?
“My nieces and nephews, living in a healthier world. So other families don’t have to go what we went through, losing a son, my brother.”
Answering yes to two more of these questions indicates a drinking problem. Have you:
• Had times you wound up drinking more or longer than you intended?
• More than once wanted to cut down or stop drinking, or tried to, but couldn’t?
• Spent a lot of time drinking, or being sick or hungover from the after effects?
• Wanted a drink so badly you could think of nothing else?
• Found that drinking or being hungover from drinking often interferes with taking care of your home or family, causes trouble with your job, or leads to issues with others?
• Continued drinking even though it is causing trouble with your family, friends or significant other?
• Given up or cut back on activities that you enjoy, or are important or interesting to you, in order to drink?
• More than once gotten into situations during or after drinking that increased your risk of harm, such as driving, swimming, operating machinery while intoxicated, walking in dangerous areas, or having unsafe sex?
• Continued drinking even though it is making you feel depressed or anxious or compounding another health problem? Or continued drinking after having a blackout episode?
• Experienced symptoms like trouble sleeping, shakiness, restlessness, nausea, sweating, a racing heart, seizure, or sensing things that aren’t there as alcohol’s effects are wearing off?
The two books can be bought for $50 instead of their usual $29.99 each and postage is $8 to anywhere in the country including rural.
More: The Farmers Weekly Rural Living series highlights the rich diversity and people of Aotearoa New Zealand’s rural communities, farming families and contributions to the food and fibre sector.
Need help? AA is accessible to alcoholics in rural communities in New Zealand through:
• In-person meetings
• Online (Zoom) meetings
• AA On Air (recorded) Meetings on its website
• Access Radio
• AA Online Shop
• 0800 Phoneline (0800 229 6757)
• Email (help@aa.org.nz)
• AA website (https://aa.org.nz/)
